I am sitting around a dinner table with my team and one of my colleagues shares an amazing story about their life that is hard to follow. It then switches to me, “Chris, share with us a story or something that we don’t know about you”
I think about it and then I falter. “Sorry guys, I can’t think of any stories to share”.
The story replaying in my mind however, is my escape. My escape from ending up in jail or dead at an early age. I didn’t live a notoriously criminal life, I didn’t grow up in the worst area, but I escaped. When people ask me whether I am still in touch with my school friends, unfortunately it is a no, our lives changed a lot. The majority of my core group of school friends have ended up in prison or have never had a legitimate job, at least not since I last spoke to them.
There are moments where I was close to going down the same path. I had to change my circle of friends and get out of my environment in order to change my life. In my attempt, one thing that I specifically did was go to a college where I did not know anyone and that took me a while to travel to just to get away.
This might sound dramatic, but as the saying goes, birds of a feather flock together. Yes, I initially grew up in a council flat and was not a stranger to free school meals, but my upbringing weren’t all bad. People have been through much worse circumstances and I have never wanted these things to define me. On the other hand, by not wanting to share this side of me, I am hiding away from a key part of my story.
I joined the corporate world and did not want to submit to the “black” stereotype, but this refusal led me to provide a shade of myself (no pun intended). For example, in addition to the story that I neglected to share, I often hide or play down the fact that I rap. This is despite the content of my music being far from stereotypical.
We all have a story to tell, we should not shy away from who we are and our experiences in fear of the judgement of others. The beauty of our story is exactly that, it is our story. No one can take it away from you. You choose how that story shapes and defines your life, the story does not define you.
How about you? Are you owning your story?